I’m saying it outloud to you and hoping that you hear.

I don’t think I’m a good hinter.
I try and try and try and I don’t think they get it.

I just want to say it: I Heart You.
But I can’t.
Because I’m a big sissy.
And I don’t want them to run away.  I don’t want them to leave.  I don’t want it to be awkward.  I don’t want it to change but in the way I want – we fall helplessly in love.

And that shall never happen, I know.

I’ve had too many desires like that.
Too many.
And they’ve all been failures.

Why would this be any different?

I heart you.
And you don’t know it.
Yet I try to tell you.
I want to just yell it so you’ll hear, even though I’m not quite loud enough.
I sit here at my computer, and as I’m talking to you, I say it to you, “I heart you”, and you don’t hear me.
Why won’t you hear me?
I tell you all the time.  I think about it even while we’re not talking online, just keep saying “I heart you”, and hoping that you’ll hear it.

I just want to throw myself into the computer, through the wires, and end up with you.  I want to be there, see you, hear you, tell you that I heart you, want to just see what it is that I heart.

Hell, it’ll never happen though.
You don’t even know that I heart you.
I listen to the same damn song again and again and it’s all about you.
I listen to it because it makes me feel sad, because I need to feel sad.  I need to know that I really heart you and aren’t just feeling like this on a whim.
I want to know that I really do heart you.

I just want you to know that I’m trying.
I want to tell you, but I can’t.
So I say it outloud to you through the computer and hope that you’ll hear.